Valentine's Day is this weekend. The day of love. But you know what? I can't lie. These past few months have been tough here in the kingdom. For myself, for Sofia and especially for my marriage. There is not a doubt that the man I married is the man that I love, but sometimes in a marriage, resentment over the years can grow to an unmanageable level. That is what has happened with us. I can't pretend that we are a happy couple every single day; who really can? Things came to a head the other day and we were pretty unhappy. But then we decided for ourselves and for the sake of our daughter that we were going to do so much better for our marriage.
What do you know? Results are already showing!
I am starting to fall in love with Juan all over again and the feeling is amazing. It's not as intense as when I first met him; that dopey feeling of puppy love...no. This feeling is different and it solidifies my loyalty for my king in all things. I am willing to keep my vows and I believe that he is just as willing.
For those of you who are just starting out in marriage or are on the rocks like we were, please understand that a marriage can only be as strong as you make it. If you don't put any effort in it at all, how are you truly going to be happy with each other? Gentlemen, if you don't respect the woman that you put a ring on, how is she going to respect you back with a hot dinner or a clean house?
Treat your wife like a Thoroughbred and she will never be a nag...remember that.
Vice versa: Ladies, if you don't put in the effort for your hard working husband with simple things as washing his uniforms or fixing his plate (hell even just keeping his plate warm in the oven or microwave if he's late coming home!) why would he want to put in any effort to make you happy in any way?
He kisses me more, hugs me more and I'm feeling desired in his eyes finally. Just for that, I am doing so much more for him than I had been. Cleaning for him to come home to a nice sight, making his plate when he settles down, washing his uniforms without being asked, talking to him with respect. I'm trying my best for him and that, ladies and gentlemen is the key word.
Try. Try to make a change. Try to make an effort. Just try. The results may be eye opening.
It remains to be seen if this will be a permanent change in our marriage; we pretty much just started this week. But with patience, understanding and communication, this could work out in a positive light for our relationship.
In the spirit of Valentine's Day, here are some things that you can do to rekindle your fire. They can be cute or supportive and these are even things that I would be willing to do for my husband.
1. Change one bad habit: Juan hates that I'm on my computer constantly. So I am trying my best to make sure that I limit my time.
2. Go one solid week without saying anything negative to one another.
3. Warm up his or her bath towel while they are showering
4. Tell your mate that you need them. Want them. Desire them.
5. Touch each other more.
6. Support each other's dreams in life: My husband wants a motorcycle and in the beginning I told him that he couldn't get one because I was afraid to lose him in an accident. But then I realized that I was suppressing his happiness in life and decided to support him instead of hold him back.
7. Give each other massages at night before bed.
8. Treat your spouse 2x as well as you would treat your own parents.
9. Apologize when needed and mean it.
10. Three little words. Say them and mean it. But also remember that actions can speak louder than words.
Try some of these and see if it makes a difference.
Do I miss who Juan was when I met him? Yes.
But I'm willing to get to know this new Juan too. It's a new start in our lives and if he's willing to go all the way, then Lord knows I'm willing to travel this road with him with a smile on my face and love in my heart.